I am also so very sorry for what you went through and what you have had to overcome. I agree with Jules x. There is so much hurt that you (or anyone in your situation) need help processesing it all. A therapist (whether a social worker or psychologist or Life Coach) will expedite that processesing and help you. I would suggest finding someone who does EMDR Therapy because they say it is revolutionizing the world in dealing with Trauma Therapy, and my dear, that is a lot of trauma you have overcome. You can look it up online but here is one youtube video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QhsA5iB8NEM
To help speed things along too maybe read some self-help books that you find helpful. Empower yourself and understand that you have great value (no matter how someone treats you) - you matter! I cannot imagine what you must be feeling or the hurt you are enduring and I have not been in (or even close to) your situation but I found the following books helpful:
- Daring Greatly, by Dr. Brene Brown
- Boundaries, by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend
- The New Rules To Marriage, by Terrence Real
What many people don't realize is that many of the patterns we have in our thinking stems from our childhood and what we've learned (or witnessed unhealthy behavior from our parents/teachers/guardians/etc). To escape these patterns, we first have to be brave and look at ourselves and wrestle with some of these unhealthy patterns and learn healthy ones from healthy sources.
Let me encourage you that you can DEFINITELY find a great partner that can share a great family and life.
I wish you all the best and keep us informed on how your doing because we care :o)
--- In Relationship-Talk@yahoogroups.com, Jules Hendy <xogenevieveox@...> wrote:
>
> Im sorry to hear you had such a bad time.
> I think you need counselling. If this is not possible, then do you have
> family or friends you can talk it all through with.
> Time is a great healer, and I hope that one day you will be able to trust
> again.
> Jules x
>
>
> On 24 March 2013 02:00, Janis Holmberg <tangentialada@...> wrote:
>
> > **
> >
> >
> > "mystical.angels81" <mystical.angels81@...
> > To: Relationship-Talk-owner@yahoogroups.com
> > Hi im new here my situation isnt the easiest to explain basically im 31
> > and only had one relationship if you can call it a relationship it started
> > when I was 14 it was a very abusive relationship he played games with my
> > head he was violent both physically and sexually this went on for 10 years
> > I didn't see him for few years and rocked back up and tried to abuse me
> > again I reported him and is now in prison the problem is he has left me a
> > wreak I have a number of mental health problems as a result of what he put
> > me through ive moved towns and changed my name so he cant find me and to
> > start new life I want to try another relationship and want children one day
> > i just know I don't want to be alone forever but I feel scared that I will
> > be raped and attacked again how can I overcome this im trying to repair the
> > damage his done but I don't know what to do or how to do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> >
> > Sent from Samsung Mobile
> >
> >
>
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