Hi, I am new to the group and I just read this advice you gave... it sounds so real and wonderful, that I thought you could help me with my problem.
I am in my second marriage.... this time I thought I chose right. He was sweet and caring while we were dating. We have been married less than 6 months and his behaviour has completely changed.
He has become manipulating... if I do not say the correct thing, he threatens with leaving me. My best friend is very ill and has to have surgery, he never asks about her, only causes drama, and gives me ZERO support in my life or my problems.
But he says he loves me so much and is crazy about me.
--- In Relationship-Talk@yahoogroups.com, Joe Califano wrote:
>
> Most people in a relationship have probably found oportunities and desires to
> cheat on their partners. Men in particular seem to have a stronger drive for
> this; arguments could be made that due too their hormone tetosterone makes them
> far more inclined to cheat as their basic instinctual urges to mate with as many
> people as they can is part of what it is to me a male. Men are different than
> woman and often their instincts conflict with how society has put restraints on
> the natural behavior of men and some woman also.
> Regardless, staying true to one partner is a choice. People get many of their
> physical/sexual , mental, spiritual needs met with a partner.
>
> We are attracted often to people who have lessons to teach us and often when
> those lessons are learned people can grow apart to leaarn new life lessons with
> others.
>
> Ask yourself why you got in the relationship with your partner in the first
> place, what needs does she help you with and what needs do you provide her. What
> areas in your life seem lacking that you are not getting from your partner but
> just as importantly from the relatioship.
> What is your relationship with your partner, how can the relationship be better
> for you and her. I sounds like you have many more things you could do to
> stimulate your relationship so you and her could be more complete people. Just
> stop judging yourself and make the choices you need to be happy. Have an honest
> discussion with your partner about your relationsip and having your and her
> needs better met may help you see what to do.
> Stop the blame game and get to why you do what you do.
> No one can tell you what you should do but you. Be an adult, ask adult questions
> in a sincere manner and get on wi
>
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