[Relationship-Talk] Why am I obsessed with her?

 

I am sending this in case you did not receive my attempt to post last evening.  I tried to post from the home page ofo the group site.

 

Hi there,

 

I have been trying to get close to an Asian woman, same age (45) & religion (Catholic) as me. She is very religious, goes to church daily and is heavily involved in her church. The best part about her is that she's soft-spoken, as I am a shy, introverted person.

 

I have tried to go out with her twice, the results of both were a failure. The first time, last August, we were at a restaurant for their jazz night, her favorite music. She told me the day before she was bringing a friend along. She brought her boyfriend!!! I felt like a 5th wheel the whole time. The second time, last March, I asked her out for bicycle riding. I shouldn't have asked her while she was on her way someplace. But she called me back a minute after I left the message, so I thought I was calling at a good time. She reacted with asking "what if it's too cold?" She said she'd check her calendar and get back to me. In my opinion, she had no intention of agreeing to do that or any activity I had suggested. She waited until the day before we were supposed to get together, when she knew I'd be at work, to leave the voicemail message telling me she couldn't have done it anyway.

  

A month ago, she shared with me, unsolicited, that she is considering getting back with an on again/off again boyfriend, the only one with whom she's had an amicable parting. He has always been calling her for the 9 years they've known each other. They had been exercising together for the past few weeks, before he started his new job. They break up because he won't commit because he does contract work.

 

So why keep trying? Because there's no other woman who is a viable option in my life right now. A

ny sign that a woman gives me is golden. When I gave her a goodbye hug at her birthday party last February, she said to me "let's hang out". She said it twice in case I didn't hear her the first time. I was shocked because she was in that relationship. She broke it off with the 1st guy in January, as I would find out the following week. I must have these strong feelings for her, because everytime I see a car that looks like hers, I look at it to see if it's hers. Doesn't matter what part of town, doesn't matter what time of day. Then there's the fact that I have never had a girlfriend.

 

We have communicated almost weekly since the party. It has progressed from superficial to somewhat deep and personal. Should I try again? Should I hope for her to come to see me in a different light? Or stop being friends with her altogether? The biggest question, why am I obsessed with her? And what can I do to stop it?

 

Will

　

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