Four Hilarious Things People Living Alone For The First Time Say

I have observed that there’s a behavioural pattern people living alone for the first time exhibit. You know, when they’ve lived most of their lives with their parents or with someone, and they eventually get to the stage where they can afford to live alone. You can easily spot them from the way they talk and complain about certain things, or their eagerness to share the whole homeownership/renter-ship process with the world. I have put together a list of things first-time homeowners/renters do, and if you are one or have any of them as a friend, you would relate to one or everything on this list. Remember, this is a fun list, it doesn’t fully describe anyone.

House rent complaints

See, we all know there are specific places in Nigeria where houses are like hidden treasures. Once you hear how much rent and service charges cost, you will take to your heels. But with people living alone for the first time, the noise about house rent gets amplified. It is these people that will remind you that Lagos houses are too expensive, the kitchen is too tiny, or wait! Why’s the bathroom this slim? Oh God, this house is not worth the price; it’s too expensive and the road is bad. Before they finally get an apartment, they’ll always find a way to say, “Uhm, I’m house hunting and it’s been so hectic” to anyone who cares to listen. My friend, house hunting is hectic everywhere and we’ve all been there, let’s hear word.

What should I eat today?

Now that they’ve gotten the apartment, they have another problem unlocked: food! You will most likely not hear people who have been living alone for a while talk about food, maybe because they have managed to hack it. But you see those who just started living alone, you will always hear them complain about what to eat and when to eat. “Oh, living alone is so stressful, man. You have to spend hours thinking of what to eat despite having money. It’s not about money o, it’s to decide what to eat gan gan.” My guy, soak garri if you don’t know what to eat. We don’t know what to eat too but you don’t see us disturbing everybody.

Cooking vs buying take-outs

Everybody loves to eat, but cooking is another wahala. People who don’t enjoy cooking have come to accept that they will buy more than they cook. But you see those new house renters, they are the ones that will bring their stomach-infrastructure problems and put it up for debate on social media. You will hear them say, “Cooking at home saves more money” or “Buy takeouts or not, you will still spend money’ knowing that it’ll become a hot topic on social media. My friend, some of us don’t care where the food comes from; we just want to eat.

Loneliness wahala

When they were planning to live alone, they didn’t consider how lonely it will become, now they won’t let us hear word; they will always grumble that living alone is boring and lonely. Every time, they’ll say things like, “Loneliness is getting the most of us, I’ve not talked to anyone in 3 days,” “All this food I cooked, no one to eat it.” They are also the ones that are always quick to say, “this one na weather for two o, if to say I get babe now” then insert several crying emojis. I feel your pain, my guy, but that is what it means to live alone. You either cope or not, after all, no one chased you out of your parents’ house sef.

Honestly, I understand that it can be tough living alone for the first time, and like any new journey one embarks on, it’s going to take a while before you get used to it. And if you are wondering where I got these experiences from, oh well… it’s me! Oya, oya, you don catch me.