It sounds like the OCD is playing more of a part than what you think.
Looks like you need to make a decision about what it is you want and not wait for her to decide for you. Like she said, "she will do what she wants when she wants to." Also it depends on what you are willing to put up with: just think, this maybe the normal from here on out and are you willing to deal with it on a daily basis? You know the answer to the question you are asking; take the chance and trust yourself and your gut! You have permission to do so!
BBoppie
--- In Relationship-Talk@yahoogroups.com, "rsting_69" wrote:
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> I was divorced in October of last year, soon after I met a girl through an online dating service, we live about 70 miles apart, but had talked for a long time online, emails, texting, etc. We finally met up one night and it seemed to just click, we shared our entire life stories, secrets, etc. We kissed at the end of the night, I was on top of the world.
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> We were in a whirlwind of love after that, I was out of work, but could support myself so I had nothing but time and often spent time with her at her place, but missed being home sometimes when i was there. I met her mom who loved me and some of her relatives. My girlfriend had been divorced for about 6 years at this point. We are both Christians and had agreed to wait for any kind of a sexual relationship until we got to the point of getting married if that ever occurred.
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> Well, a couple months passed and soon I was spending the night at her place, then it was moving her matress tot he living room and sleeping in the same bed, and gradually progressed to crossing the line, which I felt terrible about as she had made a promise but from there she just wanted more (when she felt like it). Things got kind of hectic in November with our families and we were both a bit distracted.
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> She was upfront with me from the very beginning that she had major OCD and that her mind sometimes just would become overloaded with too many thoughts. She had been very direct with me on how I should live my life now that I was divorced such as doing more things by myself, going on vacation by myself, not communicating with my Ex-wife, not being depressed, etc. etc. Whenever I brought up the fact that I was having a bad day, she would get a bit aggravated.
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> About early February I had just started a new job, it was not the job I wanted but it was paying the bills, after a weekend at her place with my dog and her dog, the weekend was very stressful as she lives in a condo and my dog barked so we had to take him with wherever we went and he hates to be in the car. So needless to say we did not enjoy the weekend. That monday she called and sensed I was down and asked what was wrong, so i told her that I felt bad because my dog blew the weekend, and I had some other things that were bothering me, she blew a gasket, she sent me an email saying I was scaring her, not sure how, I have no thoughts of suicide or hurting myself or others, just get down, she said it was too much for her right now and asked for her apartment keys back and pretty much broke everything off for a month. I was crushed, I was extremely sad for a few days then just decided if she wants to be with me she will call, which she eventually did but it was that cold kind of friend talk.
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> She finally told me things were moving too fast for her in the relationship, I simply said I cannot hide the feelings I had for her which were strong, so we both agreed to just take it slow and "date" so in sense take a few steps back and start over. Well she started to come out to my place which is farther out from the city and she felt relaxed there, we again became closer sexually but I could see some things that bother me such as I would say I love you and it is rare she recipricates the feeling, I buy her flowers, she offered to pay for me to get a dental cleaning??? I asked if there was a problem fearing she saw something wrong with my teeth, she blew another gasket saying she was just trying to do something nice. She is obssessed with cleaning and always doing something and she again started talking about the future and wanting to look at houses. So last week we did, but I really do not want to move closer to the city, I like where I am at and she refuses to commute the hour and a half to her work, which I don't expect her to.
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> So this last week she came over since she was off since wed. for easter and Wed. night she decided she wanted to go home, she had missed being at her condo since she had been at my place so much. i was cool with it, a part of me was actually relieved, so she went home. Friday we talked and I was missing her and my Ex had sent me a email the day before that really brought me down so i had a bad day the day before she asked what was wrong and I just said I missed her, she flipped out about it and said she had only been gone a day and she had planned on spending easter by herself, which I was going to be with my brother, sistern n law and mom for easter, she did not want to go. So she kinda got aggravated with me and made the comment she would just come out by me, I said no stay home enjoy your time at home and your time off, it will just make things worse if you come out here. So I called her Saturday she had shut her phone off, she called me this morning but just seemed distant again.
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> I made plans to take her out on a fun filled day and evening next saturday, in the mean time a female friend of mine had Facebook Introduced me to her husbands sister a while back, we had only chatted, nothing more and nothing meaningful, she lost her husband to cancer last year.
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> So I sit here today wondering if I should continue to date my girlfriend and see what happens or move on. i fear moving on in that she has good traits but the bad ones kind of scare me and its hard to talk to her about them. There is also the distance and at some point one of us will have to sell our home and move in one direction or the other. I really dont want to move away from my family. I am also scared to hurt her as I worry about her finding someone as I did with my Ex-Wife and if I do I fear I may make another mistake in leaving in thinking maybe she is the one for me. I am really confused. I fear the future and being able to find someone else. I want to be with someone who will be able to hold me and tell me its gonna be ok, she see's that as a weakness. I want someone who just wants to sit around some days and just do nothing. She is VERY independant and has made that known to me and that she will do what she wants when she wants to. Im torn and I have prayed about it my gut says drift away gently, my heart says to give it a chance and see where it goes.
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> HELP????
>
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