I have been with my husband for 4 years. He is amazing. My son loves him, he is a great stepdad. I became pregnant with my second, his first in August. With my first son I had complications and was in labor for 10 weeks and had him 10 weeks early. I was hoping with this one I was hoping it would be different. I am 35 and knew there may be problems, but my fingers were crossed. My husbands grandpa who raised him passed away at the end of Sept. The first person he has ever lost. He kept everything inside. I tried to help in any way I could and when he pushed me away I let him be, just told him that when he is ready I am here. 4 Days later I started having complications and started labor with our child. I was only 17 weeks along. Since then I have been unable to work and on bed rest. He has been horrible to me. Verbally abusive, distant, hard to live with. After 2 weeks he tried to start a fight with me. Pushing buttons, when I would not fight and went into bed he followed and continued. Called me weak and pathetic, when I started to cry he kept going. When I reminded him that the dr said no stress. He said he did not care, that he wanted me to have a miscarriage, that the baby was better off dead then to have me as a mom. He slept on the couch. The next day I told him to leave. He was gone for 10 days and was sweet for a few days. We still had a rocky time. Random insults, distant. 2 weeks before Christmas my little brother passed away unexpectedly. I was and am still devastated. I was the first one to the hospital and found out on my own. I had to tell my mother and siblings when they got to the hospital. My husband was there for me and my family and was wonderful. Prayed with us, held us. He was the amazing man I fell in love with. I cry all the time. I am still in labor and have contractions every 17-25 mins for the last 11 weeks. 2 days after my brother passed we were in bad, I was crying so hard the bed was shaking. I needed him to roll over and hold me. Instead he made a frustrated sigh, got out of bed and slammed the door. I feel so alone. 6 days after my brothers passing we were driving to get Christmas presents and he told me to get over it, that my brother was a loser and deserved to die. At the stop sign I tried to get out of the car after begging him over and over to stop and he grabbed my jacket to keep me in the car, hurting me. I stayed in the car and he took me home. I got in my car and left for the day. I avoided him for a while. My brothers funeral was 3 days before Christmas. He was great at the start, there for me, then he disappeared. I understand that he has still not dealt with his pap's passing and it brought up feelings that he can't handle. I just need a hand to hold. On Christmas I put on a happy face and went to the families houses. Christmas was very hard. He was great at Christmas. It was all about my son and my nieces and nephews. He went out of town 2 days after Christmas for the weekend on business. I found out this week that he was talking to an ex while he was gone. Planning in meeting up to have sex. We have been unable to have sex since Nov because of complications. I found naked pictures and video on his phone of this ex when I looked in his phone to send a picture I took of him and my son to my phone. He knew I was looking in his phone and was fine. I wanted to read his text and emails but didn't. I knew who this woman was and contacted her on my own. I was nice. I just asked her to stop sending video and pictures to my husband. He has been talking to her since Christmas. Telling her that we are broken up and he is moving out. Told her the baby was a mistake and that he wanted to try with her again. I thanked her for her honesty and confronted him. He came clean and told me everything. It matched what she said. She did not know everything, just what he said. She has agreed not to contact him again. He said that he just wants to be with me, he was just frustrated. I have always been very trusting and have no problems with him being friends with women. I am 7 years older then him and he is very attractive. I have never feared him going to hang out with friends be it women or men. I have always had faith in his love for me. Now I don't have the faith, the trust I once had. He has told me that they just text or emailed. That they never met in person. This whole thing is killing me. I am worried about the baby. I am worried that I will have him early or that he will not make it. I worry about my own health. I worry about my 13 year old son. He does not know whats going on, not all of it. He just knows that my husband has been staying somewhere else. I am broken. I feel like I can't grieve my brother or my husband will get upset. I no longer feel attractive. I have lost my self esteem and my confidence. I have lost my faith and trust. Over the phone he is willing on working this out. He has agreed to counseling. In person he is distant and refuses to look at me, talk to me and gets mad when I try to talk to him. This person he has become is not him. He has always been loving and caring. All of this has happened since his papa passed and I started having problems with the baby. I understand that he is overwhelmed but so am I. I don't know what to do. Help!
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