[Relationship-Talk] help with my marrige its falling apart

 

Hello FIMRs,
 I m 35 and married to a 45 year old man which don't bother me as far as as goes..i love this man with everything in me.. we are going on 10 years of marriage in Dec .we met each other threw his sister and some how I fell in love with him..i was in a middle of a divorce from a man who drank and beat on me and with that came 2 boys.. so when me and my current husband got together he treated me like gold,took care of me and my two sons and I fell inlove what I did not know until to late was that he did meth and a lot of it ..so beaing the good wife as a lot of us have I tried it with him to make him happy..and it got worse from there we were fighting all the time,he wood take off and then we wood get back together and I wood feel I could not live with out this man..well into that and our marriage my boys and the baby we had were taken from
us by dfs.of charges on him for touching my son after a while I was told they wood give my kids back if I left him but he cryed and begged me to take him back and that he never did anything to my son and I believed him so there we were together and they took my kids and placed them with family since then we both stoped doing any drugs and cleaned up for 5years no drugs we did the right thing and we stayed to gether fighting the charges and in mean time had a baby and the charges got droped and he was found not guilty..and I stuck by him threw the whole thing...why I love him and belived him.. but threw out our marriage he has taken off on me.and makes me feel like its my fault why he leaves..and I take the blame and forgive him its easer that way when its good its great when its bad its bad..we get into a lot of fights it used to be him yelling and saying the most hurtfll things to me throwing stuff at him to know him getting in my face yelling and me slapping him beaing scared not that he has ever really hit me ecept when we did drugs and I was in his face but all that has stoped..now he treatnes to take my truch,house and throw me out and when I go to leave becase he is telling me to get out he stopes me but mean and hatefull I know he loves me and yes I bitch a lot but he lies to me so much and looks at porn behind my back and now he is getting high again on something different we fight about it I don't want him doing it and he calls me his mom and I just want a good life is it me should I let him do what he wants or just say enough is enough ... we love each other but what do I do help me please

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