FAST INFO MAGAZINE: [Relationship-Talk] Re: Wife wants a Master(Is separation is the best medication...?)

Sunday, 30 March 2014

[Relationship-Talk] Re: Wife wants a Master(Is separation is the best medication...?)


It is better to have separation or you try to satisfy your wife with sex ethnics.

On Tuesday, 25 March 2014 8:49 PM, "t***********"wrote:
thecakeguyonline: I am so confused as what to do.  My wife of 12 years is bored.  She has been for a couple years.  We have a good sex life, but she doesn't want to experiment with me, but after a long talk, she decided she wants to have a Master.  Someone to guide her and to push her boundaries.  She found a man she really likes, and he and I have chatted, and he seems like a decent guy.  He is divorced and says he does not want anything from her but the fun associated with this. I believe my wife would also not leave me, as I feel she is just in it to learn and enjoy. I love her to death and I want her to do this, but it terrifies me at the same time.  Not bothered that she would have sex with someone else, actually kind of a turn on for me, but there is something still just worrisome about it. 

Lioness: I can tell you what it is. It's the knowledge that sex brings people into complicated emotional relationships whether they want it to or not. I'm no prude myself, I had an adventurous life when I was younger, and I think it would be wonderful if people could sleep with anyone they want, without complications. But I have been in the advice groups for almost fifteen years now, and I have seen the fallout from these situations over and over. It starts out as fun, everyone is ready and willing, and then the bad stuff kicks in. I can remember one case vividly...a couple decided to swing, and in the middle of the first encounter with the other couple, the wife panicked, the other man more or less raped her, (everybody was a bit drunk) the husband is watching this, but he's enjoying himself, doesn't quite get what's happening, and lets it take place...then later on, he can't get the image of his wife with another guy put of his head, and freaked out after the fact,  held the whole thing against the wife, and turned against her. She came into my yahoo advice group agonizing over how to make him love her again.

Usually it's not that dramatic, but bad stuff does happen. Sometimes the third party wants to see the spouse alone, without the partner...and sometimes they do it secretly. Sometimes the "extra" this case you....gets jealous, either of the other man, or of their own mate, because they feel like she's having more fun than they are. They start comparing, wondering if they're as good in bed as the other guy. And sometimes the spouse who brought int he third party falls for the new person, and you end up with a love triangle. In your case, even if the other man promises not to feel any emotion, can he really guarantee that your wife won't? Can you? Can she? You can try, but there's no guarantee that all three of you can decide in advance how you're going to react once things get underway.

What I'd advise you to do is investigate B&D for yourself, go out and round up whatever accouterments you need, study how the whole master/dominance thing is done, and keep this in the family. It may be that your wife doesn't think you have it in you to give her what she needs. but I'd sure try it myself before I'd hand her off to anyone else with unpredictable results. 

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