Saturday 9 March 2013

Re: [Relationship-Talk] Fwd: Our fight

 

It's good you are doing relationship skills. Perhaps you can prove to the court you have changed. X

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On 8 Mar 2013, at 16:07, pug607 <pug607@aol.com> wrote:

 




Sent from Samsung Mobile



-------- Original message --------
From: pug607 <pug607@aol.com>
Date:
To: fathers4justice@yahoogroups.co.uk
Subject: Our fight



Me and my wife had a marital breakdown causing my wife to go back to her parents inarch. Our two chidren aged 14 and 10 were  at their grandparents for the weekend.(my parents)
Following recent weeks of trying to reconcile i put my residence application in to the court but it got rejected as GRANDPARENTS have already applied for residency pf my kids.
As it stands my wife and I have reconciled and repaired our relationship and are living together since may, cafcas have done a section 7 and states kids should stay where they are diaabled grandparwnts home !!. We have no contact with children as they control the sotuation manipulating kids buying them ipads and stuff everything they want and turning them against us.. contact was stopped because grandad had my daughter 10 yrs old in his bed overnight and i contacted police. They said it was innapropriate and interviewed them. So grandparents stopped us seing kids and cafcas say they cant do nowt
. Final hearing is in march and barister is 2000 pounds,i have been paying 200 pounds a month from march till recently as i was made unemployed and now claiming jobseekers.. i also have to do a relationship skils program for 26 weeks because of arguments in house although mever physical.. and all access hsd to be supervised for both of us before contact was stopped in november.. because of no contact will they get the residency ???? The law stinks..

Sent from Samsung Mobile

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Re: [Relationship-Talk] My In laws treat me terribly and sometimes it takes a toll on our marriage

 

I've been in the same situation with my husbands family. So now I keep away from them and just get on with my life with work and friends. I try not to run them down and I never try to stop my husband seeing them. I don't want to know what they are doing or about their problems. It's so much easier to just rise above it!

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On 8 Mar 2013, at 17:49, "Cassie-Kyle" <cassie_kyle_h@yahoo.com> wrote:

 

Hello....
My husband and I have been together for the past 8 years and married for 4 of them... Every since I can remember his sisters have treated me Terribly.... It has gotten so out of hand that We have completely cut off all contact with them... Well I have anyway.. What usually happens is they find stupid things to pick a fight about either call my husband and start freaking out on him, or they will post nasty things about me of Facebook.....Recently one of his sisters went as far as bringing our unborn baby into it and started spreading rumors around my daughters dance studio that The baby im carrying isn't his... and that they Feel sorry for our unborn child because she wont have any of them to love her because I have literally chased them all off with Running my mouth and acting like Im better than them....I have Cut myself off from them, stoped attending their family functions ( ususally pretend Im sick) and removed them from my facebook even gone as far as blocking them... the worst and most upsetting part for me is that I feel like my husband is not defending me to the best of his abilitly... He has let this go on for so long and they usually fight and don't talk for a few weeks then one of them will either call or text him asking him to do something for them or appoligizing to him for being rude, and he automatically forgives them.. I cant find a way to help him understand how shitty it makes me feel when he does this... I feel sometimes like if I had never given him the a chance to fix what was broken 6 years ago things would be easier for both of us, but he assures me that we would both be miserable and not to let them get to me... Its just hard to keep my mouth shut and continue to let them bully me and treat me like Im scum of the earth... My Family Treats my husband like he is a King compared to how Im treated by his family.... If anyone has any advice for me or thinks Im wrong for cutting myself off this situations Im really desperate here.. Thanks

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[Relationship-Talk] Re: don't know what I should do.

 

There are a couple of things to consider. First you do not know him. Online connections are filled with misinformation. Until you see someone face to face they do not really exist. Even then they can be presenting a false persona. Even if he were your friend in reality, lending money can destroy friendships. Do you have any idea why he need the money?

If you have plenty of money and would not miss a couple hundred you could give it to him. I wouldn't but you could.

Tom
Changescoaching.com/rel

--- In Relationship-Talk@yahoogroups.com, "sweetfoxy4u2" <sweetfoxy4u2@...> wrote:
>
> I been talking to this guy for almost 3 months now on the internet. He has never asked for any thing, not even " sex" . But last night we were talking and he asked me if I could borrow him 200.00 ? I told him that I do not let people borrow from me. Than he siad he had to go bed cause it was late. But before he left he sent me a big hug. What I don't know if I should just see if he will still talk to me or should I move on ? I really like this guy.
>

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[Relationship-Talk] Re: My bf moved in 10 months ago for what was supposed to be 1 month.

 

At this point the relationship is ruined! He has had plenty of time to show you what kind of man he is,,, and he failed! Don't ask him, tell him it is time to go. Pack up all his stuff. Call over some friends to be there and make it perfectly clear he needs to go. Now, a caution. Any chance he will get violent? Has he given you any reason to fear him? If so you might want the police.

Tom
changescoaching.com/rel

--- In Relationship-Talk@yahoogroups.com, "djordan_1988" <drodz18@...> wrote:
>
> Everything was going well, so a few months into it I invited him to be part of the lease. His response was no bc he felt that it was bad for the relationship. (I began to make him pay rent at month 4) For a long while we would cont. to argue bc he didnt want to make the move-in official, yet months kept passing without any sign that he was moving out. I voiced how his lack of commitment towards taking the next step in the relationship kept counteracting his actions of "living with me" and how this was beginning to take a toll on my self esteem and feelings towards us. Eventually after a few break-ups and heartaches I decided to come to terms with the fact that he just isnt ready for that type of commitment with me. At the same time we both established (7 months into living together) that he would move out within 30 days. Now, 2 months after the 30d deadline, he has noticed a difference in me. I no longer put any effort in pushing him to be cleaner, to be more active, and have little to no patience when he makes suggestions on how to make "our living situation more comfortable". I've explained to him that in the beginning I was active on maintaining the house neat and tidy (cleaning up after him) because I wanted him to feel comfortable as a guest. No longer being considered a guest, due to his lengthy stay, I began to push him to be a cleaner more considerate roommate, once I realized that both approaches only earned me the feeling of being taken advantage of with out any sign of consideration, multiple arguments regarding missing established cleaning duties, eye rolls, and a quick snap attitude like a child, (such as turning the lights off while I'm voicing my reasons for being upset, spraying me with the water sprayer we use when my dog barks, threatening to throw my phone, honking the horn while I'm driving, and even threatening to either shut off the car while I'm driving us in the highway.) I decided to draw back and only do my fare share. Thus leaving his mess to roam free. Now, 10 months after the move-in (temp) stay he has become actively voicing that the house is dirty, that dishes are stacked, and that we are "stagnant" in the relationship. This only infuriates me to the point that I always remark in a condescending voice, "this is what happens when you disrespect and take advantage of your girlfriend." Every time, I respond that the only reason he sees a mess, and feels things are dirty is because I am no longer cleaning up after him. All dishes that he sees are his and because he waits so long to wash them he forgets that they are even his to begin with. Recently (last night) we went out for dinner and a movie, everything was going well and at one point he mentioned that we should organize the fridge. I told him that once upon a time the fridge was always clean and that if he wished for it to go back to that time then he is more than welcomed to clean it himself and I will do my share to maintain my half of it clean. Now, inside I was furious! I absolutely HATE that he does not understand that by him saying that WE should do something like this together, when the plan is for us NOT to continue to live together is confusing and wrong. Yet he feels that I am in the wrong. We ended up getting into it at a bar, and his way of shutting me up was by calling me a ***** and then grabbing my glass as if to pour it on the bar, he knows that I would get quiet in order to not cause unwanted attention. A few minutes later as we were getting ready to leave he apologized. Only this time, as it has been for the past 2 months, I told him that his apologies no longer hold any value to me due to the history. We cont to argue and I voiced all the opinions and reasons I have for feeling and behaving the way I do (now). By the time that the bus came and I was turning to my seat I realized that he decided to ditch me. He ended up staying out for 3 more hours, coming home, grabbing his pillows and a blanket and falling asleep on the couch. Then to make matters worst at the wee hours of the night he manages to sneak his way back into bed, only bc the couch I have is really uncomfortable, because the only reason I realized that he was back in bed was because I woke up in the middle of the night to him rearranging himself so that we wouldn't be touching. I want him to move out. I can't stand the way he treats me, I cant stand how selfish he is, and I cant stand how immature he is towards this situation. When I say how him not moving out while constantly making it obvious that he doesnt want to live together is only ruining our relationship he only turns it around and says I'm on my period. Its been 11 days since we last spoke (told him he had to move out in 14 days). I told him I needed space, because at this point verbal communication only leaves me livid due to his lack of understanding about the situation, but that he is welcomed to text or email me when ever he wished. I have yet to receive any text or any form of apology, his stuff is still not packed. Has my boyfriend been using me this whole time?
>

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[Relationship-Talk] Re: When is "too old" too old for a 2nd relationship after 30 years marriage?

 

Absolutely! You can and should look for a new love. That is one of the things that keep you alive and young at heart. At 60 you can look forward to maybe 20 or 30 more good productive years. Why not fnd a love and get married? OBTW I met my current love after I turned 60. I am happier now than I have been in a long, long time.

Tom Blair
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--- In Relationship-Talk@yahoogroups.com, "walmart.refugee" <walmart.refugee@...> wrote:
>
> Hello,
> I am a 59 year old male soon to be God Willing 60.
> I need advice from the members,anyone really! I'm not trolling for someone here,just asking this:
> "Is it ever to late to start thinking of marriage a 2nd time"?
> I'm not feeling old in my mind, in very good physical shape.
> Was blessed to have a 30 year marriage. Being religious for me a relationship means marriage,legally, of two people as friends and lovers with responsibility to the other first always.
> But I'm doubtful if after 35 years of marriage would a second marriage be right for me? Can a new relationship be fruitful romantically and spiritually?
> I have no doubt that friendship wouldn't be a problem as I would welcomea warm,intimate freindship and see it as always possible. what I wonder about is "love". I was already looking forward to marriage even at age 10, and married at age 23 to my wife.
> I've been alone these 6 years and from the beginning of that time was more than willing to search again. Now 6 years later I have doubts.
> My Grandmother remarried after my Grandfather's passing around 5 years later to a man she (and we all) knew well.I think she was 75 at the time and they both were in love and happy together until death of my Grandmother 10 years later.
> I'd be happy to hear advice from anyone on this list!
> Thank You
>

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[Relationship-Talk] Re: HELP PLEASE!!!! A VERY IMPORTANT QUESTION ABOUT ME AND MY EX GIRLFRIEND

 

Hi,

Love relationships are based on having several emotional needs met. Attraction and sex are only two of them. Meeting those needs only gets you part way. Are or have you been meeting the others?

Affection. Are you able to consistantly do the small things that say I Love You? Holding hands, hugs, smiles, kind words, the loving things NOT intended to get sex.

Are you able to be her companion, do the fun recreational things she likes to do?

Do you talk with her about unimportant thigs? The small talk, chit chat, about your day and hers that in NOT about needs or desires or problems.

Are you totally honest with her? NO secrets.

Can you show her you can and will provide for her and your future children a safe home?

Can you demonstrate the ability to povide for her?

Work on these and see if she does not come around.

Tom Blair
changescoaching.com/rel

--- In Relationship-Talk@yahoogroups.com, "rjj6287" <rjj6287@...> wrote:
>
> my girlfriend of 7 years broke up with me while I was in jail. when i get out we started talking to each other right away but did not see eachother. eventually we started to see eachother, then after a while i started going to her house again and hanging out for hours at a time. we tell eachother we love eachother when hanging up and saying bye and we kiss eachother when saying bye. we have had sex 4 times now. i really want to get back together with her but she says she wants to stay single and not be in a relationship with anybody. she has told me she talks to other guys but has done nothing physical with anybody but me. i am asking for advice about what i should do? i want to be back with her but not sure if its a good idea but would appreciate tips on how i can get her to get back with me in a exclusive relationship? or do you think im setting myself up for failure? i apologize that my question isnt exactly one but several but i would appreciate any input.
> thank youu
>

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[Relationship-Talk] Re: HELP PLEASE!!!! A VERY IMPORTANT QUESTION ABOUT ME AND MY EX GIRLFRIEND

 



--- In Relationship-Talk@yahoogroups.com, "rjj6287" <rjj6287@...> wrote:
>
> my girlfriend of 7 years broke up with me while I was in jail. when i get out we started talking to each other right away but did not see eachother. eventually we started to see eachother, then after a while i started going to her house again and hanging out for hours at a time. we tell eachother we love eachother when hanging up and saying bye and we kiss eachother when saying bye. we have had sex 4 times now. i really want to get back together with her but she says she wants to stay single and not be in a relationship with anybody. she has told me she talks to other guys but has done nothing physical with anybody but me. i am asking for advice about what i should do? i want to be back with her but not sure if its a good idea but would appreciate tips on how i can get her to get back with me in a exclusive relationship? or do you think im setting myself up for failure? i apologize that my question isnt exactly one but several but i would appreciate any input.
> thank youu
>

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Re: [Relationship-Talk] Re: Married to one, in love with another.....

 

Hey Man (Married to one, in love with another...)
 
Hope you have dealt with your situation. If not, here is my advice for you. I think you should never let your wife know about this other lady you were/ are in love with.
 
1. Delete her all email, phone numbers and etc never contact her again or at least tell her you can no longer continue this relationship.
2. Never let your wife find out about this never and ever.
3. Save your marriage, its better than the new relationship, a lady here said to you in an email that it is always easy to find a new connection rather than fixing the current one. So if you even get together with this new lady you might end up having the same kind of relationship you have with your current wife no?
 
4. The divorce rate in Europe and US is up anyway, for God's sake do not increase it. In Afghanistan we say that, a women will die in her house but will not go out with the name of divorce from a house.
 
5. In Afghanistan 80% of the cheaters mostly men who cheat tell their wives about their cheating and their wives don't usually care as long as they don't marry another women. But I know in the US it is not the case cause I have been there. Because the equality of men and women has just been brought up in the last 50/ 100 years in the world but for millions of years the equality thing was not there so if a woman in the US for instance finds out about a man's cheating she usually prefers to leave. I know some are bored in the relationship as well that is why they get divorce because there is already a notion that you can always leave if a partner is not loyal but in the east it says you can never leave your partner even if he or she is not loyal. However, there is always an option to leave a partner but the notion is not there from the beginning that is why most of the marriages are successful here.
 
I suggest you completely cut your new relationship and stick to the old one because fixing the old thing is always better than fixing the new thing.
 
I hope this helps.
 
Cheers mate, Fawad
 
From: E
Sent: Friday, March 08, 2013 3:19 AM
Subject: [Relationship-Talk] Re: Married to one, in love with another.....
 
 

Oh boy, what a situation! Since you asked for opinions, here is my two cents... Obviously there was something missing in your marriage but unfortunately you did not confront yourself nor your wife on the matter. Maybe you didn't know what the problem was, how to bring the topic up with her, or even admit there was a problem because you were ashamed?

In any event, it is always easier to find a new connection than to fix an old one - as you found out. No doubt you have feelings for this other woman because you put forth the effort to make a connection with her. But this is a "safe" relationship in the sense that you have no responsibilities to this other woman and it's fulfilling a fantasy at the moment. She lives in Germany and you here - if you are serious about her, there are logistics to figure out (which country to live in, jobs, seeing kids, etc). Your other woman does not pose any problem YET because there are no real demands. Sooner or later she will ask for a commitment, don't be fooled. She said she would wait for you for 20 years because losing the connection with you was too painful. Your wife must suspect something but is trying to connect with you now, which now of course is confusing you.

In the end, you have to decide which relationship you want to put forth the effort. You can most definitely fix your relationship with your wife, but honestly I think you are scared. Do not be fooled by the fantasy other woman though. It feels good now because there is no responsibility, just fun, but there is a reason why they say "the grass isn't greener on the other side". BUT... if you truly did love this other woman she would need to leave her husband which we have not heard that side of the story yet?

For your own piece of mind, I think you owe it to yourself and your family to try and seek professional counseling to try and save your marriage first. But to really give it your best shot this would mean breaking it off with this other woman completely.

I wish you luck on whatever path you decide. Either way it will be a difficult one.

--- In mailto:Relationship-Talk%40yahoogroups.com, marie lucas <marie_lcs@...> wrote:
>
> I mabe  should stay out of this but you are a cheater and the other women is a home wreacher you made a commitment to your wife and child and you betrayed them both it does not matter how you met this women or were. you let it happen knowing you had a family and doing all this behind the women that you vowed to love forever.and you had a child and now your not just doing this to your wife but your kid too you may love this other women but how much do you really love her when you lied to her about your family ?and she is willing to be the other women behind your wifes bacwkhat kind of women does that how do you know if you leave your wife and child that she will not leave u and go back to her husband you need to come clean with your wife and see if your marriage is worth saveing and don't cheat and if your marriage cant be saved then see if the other wome is worth it and also look what your doing to her marriage men are such ass holes good luck
>
>
>
>
> marie
>
> --- On Thu, 8/30/12, Michael Shel <sheldon.mike75@...> wrote:
>
>
> From: Michael Shel <sheldon.mike75@...>
> Subject: [Relationship-Talk] Married to one, in love with another.....
> To: "mailto:relationship-talk%40yahoogroups.commailto:relationship-talk%40yahoogroups.com>
> Date: Thursday, August 30, 2012, 3:49 AM
>
>
>
>  
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Hi,
>
>
> I don't know if I'm in the right place for this. If I'm not, I apologize beforehand.
>
>
>
> I've been married just 3 years. I have a daughter who just turned two.
>
> My wife and I have been having kind of a rocky marriage for about a year now.  Kinda early, I know.  But, thats the way it is now.  We love each other, thats not the problem.  Our problem is communication. We are both rather strong-willed.  And, as such, we can't seem to talk.  We end up quarreling, and then giving each other the silent treatment.
>
>
>
> Anyway, a few months ago, I met this woman online. I was not trolling for women to flirt with (I dont do that sort of thing).  We met on an international penpal forum.
>
>
>
> She's married too, residing in Germany.
>
>
> We started talking.  Soon, we were chatting several times a day. Eventually, our talks became closer......more intimate.
>
>
> Here's the thing : all this time, she never knew I had a wife and kid.  I told her the truth about everything else in my life......except that.
>
>
>
> To cut a long story short, we fell in "love".
>
>
>
> In June this year, I flew to Germany to meet her.  We spent two days in a hotel, and it was wonderful.  We both realized we were in love.
>
> After I returned home, this woman and I continued our daily talks, but this time it was more intense.  We were on the phone for hours every day. We sent each other dozens of emails....... we chatted on skype........we chatted on yahoo..........and each minute we spent, our love only deepened.
>
> Except, I was in a fix. She did not know I was not single, and I could not bring myself to tell her the truth.
>
> Every day, my heart got heavier and heavier with guilt.  Not so much about lying to her, but because I knew what it would do to her once she knew the truth.
>
> Eventually, she told me she was ready to leave her husband, and start a life with me.
>
> This was the last straw.  I wanted her in my life; I loved her as much as she loved me.  But..........I could not let her take such a step, without telling the truth.
>
> But, instead of being a man, and just telling the truth...............I chose the COWARD's way out :  I tried to break it off with her.
>
> I tried everything I could think of :  I stopped calling her.......I stopped sending emails.  She responded by calling me even more, and sending even more emails.
>
> Our talks on the phone became shorter,  my replies to her emails became shorter.  I did not respond as often to her text messages, etc
>
> She knew something was wrong.
>
> Every hour, she called me and asked :  "Michael, what's wrong??"
>
> And yet, I could not tell her the truth.  I tried everything I could think of : I told her I was ill, and could not talk.  She offered to fly to me, and take care of me.  So, I changed tactics :  I told her I had to go away on a business trip for a while.  She had no intention of letting up with the calls and emails and texts.
>
> By now, she knew something was seriously up.  She begged me to video-call with her on skype, so we could talk.  As we chatted face to face, she asked me point blank :  "I know there is something you are not telling me.  Just say it, whatever it is"
>
> I tried to change the subject; I tried to find any and all excuses possible.  I tld her that she would be happier and better off without me.  I told her that I was not good enough for her.
>
> I even said ---- "God help me" ----- I even said that : I had found someone else.
>
> But, she kept saying :  "I dont believe any of that.  I know you.  Tell me the truth. What aren't you telling me?"
>
> And, thats when they came : the tears.  They ran down my face, and I could not stop them.
>
> When she saw them, she said :  "Michael, you are married, aren't you?"
>
> And thats when I realized, that she had probably suspected it for a while. 
>
> I told her everything.  Wife, daughter, everything.
>
> She cried, I cried.  And, our chat ended.
>
> She was devastated.  She was crushed. 
>
> I sent an email to her.  I hoped it would be the last email. I told her that I was sorry for lying, and that I loved her more than life.  And, I hope she would find someone much better than me someday.
>
> To my astonishment, she replied back later that day, saying that it made no difference if I was married.  She wanted to be with me.
>
> She said she was not going to steal me away from my family.  She knew she could not have me.  But, she would settle for being the "other woman" in my life.  She said :  she would rather be my "secret affair",  than not have me in her life at all.  If that was all I could offer her,  she would gladly take it. And she made it clear that : I was free to do whatever I liked.  She would not stand in my way.  But, I should not send her away !!!
>
> She said :  she would gladly wait 20 years, if I would one day be with her.
>
> I didnt know what to say. I thought I had lost her for good.  (Even today, i still tell her that she should have dumped me right there and then, because I deserved it!)
>
> Every day, she tells me how much she loves me, and wants me.
>
> The truth is :  I feel exactly the same about her. I think about her all the time...........every minute of every day. 
>
> About a week ago, my wife started to notice the change in me. I was spending a lot of time on my phone, writing and texting. I was absent-minded.  I always made sure I had time for my duaghter, of course. But, once my daughter was asleep in bed, I withdrew into myself. I hardly spoke, hardly talked with her.
>
> She suspected something was going on. I don't know what she thought, but she suddenly changed.  She started to talk to me more and more. She no longer sought a fight with me; instead, she sought my advice, my help in everything, even the most trivial issues.  Something she never did before.
>
> Basically, it seemed like she was trying to get back close to me, as we were before. 
>
> Maybe, she guessed I might have found someone else;  and, now, she is trying to fix things with me. Or, maybe it's just my imagination, I don't know.
>
> But..........to be honest, I liked the new change. I had indeed missed having a certain closeness with my wife. I missed our talks. I missed how we used to share everything, talk about everything.
>
> Then, there is the thought that keeps bugging me :  as a husband and father, I have a responsibility to do whatever I can to fix my marriage, and make it work.
>
> And, of course, the guilt is there. I had cheated on my wife, and she doesn't know it.
>
> To top it all off :  the woman I cheated with is not just some bimbo I met and had sex with. I am in love with this woman.  Madly in love.
>
> I just dont know what to do now ((((((((((((((((((((((((
>

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Trey Songz @TreySongz - Fumble [Music Video Trailer]


Video After The Jump

Trey Songz will be releasing an official music video for "Fumble" on Monday, March 11th. The song is off of Trigga's latest album, Chapter V. While you wait for the full clip to drop check out the trailer below.

Eket stands still for 2face/ Annie’s marriage

tuface-annie-wedding
Tuface Idibia and his wife, Annie Macaulay.
The ancient town of Eket, in Akwa-Ibom State lost its serenity Friday when it played host to a mammoth crowd of Nigerian celebrities who stormed the town to be part of the historic traditional marriage of superstar, Tuface Idibia and his wife, Annie Macaulay.
The traditional marriage held at  the Apostolic High School, Esit Urua Community, Eket – Ibeno Road, in Uyo, the bride’s hometown, climaxed the month-long speculation that preceded the wedding.
Among the celebrities that graced were Nollywood actress, Kate Henshaw, Sound Sultan,  HipHopWorld Magazine boss, Ayo Animashaun, Now Muzik Chief, Efe Omorogbe, Iyanya and many others.

Most guests who arrived Uyo, the prevous night were lodged at the Villa Marina hotel. The pre-

Friday 8 March 2013

Re: [Relationship-Talk] Re: My bf moved in 10 months ago for what was supposed to be 1 month.

 

Cassie is right. You need to grow a back bone. Hope it all turns out ok in the end xx

Sent from my iPhone

On 8 Mar 2013, at 17:35, Cassie-Kyle Hammond <cassie_kyle_h@yahoo.com> wrote:

 

Does He work or anything? I went thru this back 8 years ago with my now Husband.. I got tired of being treated like I was nothing to him, he wouldn't help with any house work, he would come home from work and leave with his friends go out get waisted to come at all hours of the night, ditch me on anniversaries and other things... I finally Broke it off and he packed up and moved out.......After 5 months of being separated and I was pregnant with another mans child he started coming back around and proving himself... Sounds to me like That wont be a case for you guys because he is Clearly Bad for you......He is using though I wouldn't question that... If he is not on your lease contact your land lord and tell him that your bf has been staying with you and its not working out so you want him to move out and you need your locks changed... Also if that doesn't work Contact the local police and tell them the same thing.. As heartless as it all sounds... For some reason He hasn't left yet because you haven't pushed him or been forceful enough to make him leave.. So either do one of the above two things or Grow a back bone and either force him to pack his shit, or when he isn't home pack his shit for him and throw it out your front door and change your locks immediately.... Good Luck to you

From: Sandra Fringer <sfringer@rocketmail.com>
To: "Relationship-Talk@yahoogroups.com" <Relationship-Talk@yahoogroups.com>
Sent: Wednesday, March 6, 2013 12:48 PM
Subject: Re: [Relationship-Talk] Re: My bf moved in 10 months ago for what was supposed to be 1 month.
 
change your locks.

From: jules <xogenevieveox@gmail.com>
To: Relationship-Talk@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Monday, March 4, 2013 1:14 PM
Subject: [Relationship-Talk] Re: My bf moved in 10 months ago for what was supposed to be 1 month.
 
It doesnt matter if he is using you or not. The point is that it is not working. You are bad for each other, and he needs to go! Jules --- In mailto:Relationship-Talk%40yahoogroups.com, "djordan_1988" wrote: > > Everything was going well, so a few months into it I invited him to be part of the lease. His response was no bc he felt that it was bad for the relationship. (I began to make him pay rent at month 4) For a long while we would cont. to argue bc he didnt want to make the move-in official, yet months kept passing without any sign that he was moving out. I voiced how his lack of commitment towards taking the next step in the relationship kept counteracting his actions of "living with me" and how this was beginning to take a toll on my self esteem and feelings towards us. Eventually after a few break-ups and heartaches I decided to come to terms with the fact that he just isnt ready for that type of commitment with me. At the same time we both established (7 months into living together) that he would move out within 30 days. Now, 2 months after the 30d deadline, he has noticed a difference in me. I no longer put any effort in pushing him to be cleaner, to be more active, and have little to no patience when he makes suggestions on how to make "our living situation more comfortable". I've explained to him that in the beginning I was active on maintaining the house neat and tidy (cleaning up after him) because I wanted him to feel comfortable as a guest. No longer being considered a guest, due to his lengthy stay, I began to push him to be a cleaner more considerate roommate, once I realized that both approaches only earned me the feeling of being taken advantage of with out any sign of consideration, multiple arguments regarding missing established cleaning duties, eye rolls, and a quick snap attitude like a child, (such as turning the lights off while I'm voicing my reasons for being upset, spraying me with the water sprayer we use when my dog barks, threatening to throw my phone, honking the horn while I'm driving, and even threatening to either shut off the car while I'm driving us in the highway.) I decided to draw back and only do my fare share. Thus leaving his mess to roam free. Now, 10 months after the move-in (temp) stay he has become actively voicing that the house is dirty, that dishes are stacked, and that we are "stagnant" in the relationship. This only infuriates me to the point that I always remark in a condescending voice, "this is what happens when you disrespect and take advantage of your girlfriend." Every time, I respond that the only reason he sees a mess, and feels things are dirty is because I am no longer cleaning up after him. All dishes that he sees are his and because he waits so long to wash them he forgets that they are even his to begin with. Recently (last night) we went out for dinner and a movie, everything was going well and at one point he mentioned that we should organize the fridge. I told him that once upon a time the fridge was always clean and that if he wished for it to go back to that time then he is more than welcomed to clean it himself and I will do my share to maintain my half of it clean. Now, inside I was furious! I absolutely HATE that he does not understand that by him saying that WE should do something like this together, when the plan is for us NOT to continue to live together is confusing and wrong. Yet he feels that I am in the wrong. We ended up getting into it at a bar, and his way of shutting me up was by calling me a ***** and then grabbing my glass as if to pour it on the bar, he knows that I would get quiet in order to not cause unwanted attention. A few minutes later as we were getting ready to leave he apologized. Only this time, as it has been for the past 2 months, I told him that his apologies no longer hold any value to me due to the history. We cont to argue and I voiced all the opinions and reasons I have for feeling and behaving the way I do (now). By the time that the bus came and I was turning to my seat I realized that he decided to ditch me. He ended up staying out for 3 more hours, coming home, grabbing his pillows and a blanket and falling asleep on the couch. Then to make matters worst at the wee hours of the night he manages to sneak his way back into bed, only bc the couch I have is really uncomfortable, because the only reason I realized that he was back in bed was because I woke up in the middle of the night to him rearranging himself so that we wouldn't be touching. I want him to move out. I can't stand the way he treats me, I cant stand how selfish he is, and I cant stand how immature he is towards this situation. When I say how him not moving out while constantly making it obvious that he doesnt want to live together is only ruining our relationship he only turns it around and says I'm on my period. Its been 11 days since we last spoke (told him he had to move out in 14 days). I told him I needed space, because at this point verbal communication only leaves me livid due to his lack of understanding about the situation, but that he is welcomed to text or email me when ever he wished. I have yet to receive any text or any form of apology, his stuff is still not packed. Has my boyfriend been using me this whole time? >

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Reply via web post Reply to sender Reply to group Start a New Topic Messages in this topic (8)
Recent Activity:
Relationship-Talk.com: Expert Advice on Love & Dating
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Finding the Love You Want
The Cure for Being Single...When Nothing Else Has Worked
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The Emotional Freedom Technique
A Powerful Tool For Relieving Negative Emotions and Pain
http://www.EFT-Alive.com
.

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